Why It Matters How We Treat One Another

Kara Tippetts, a mother of four, minister’s wife, and woman in her thirties passed from this earth in March of this year after a painful battle with cancer.

She’s not known for her death, though. What’s she known for is the way she lived while she was dying.

Kara exemplified love and peace through the painful circumstances of life. She taught those around her how to live in the moment.

Most of all, she taught those around her about grace.

That is her legacy.

In John 13:35, John wrote: “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

What John was encouraging the early Christians to do was to leave legacies of love. He wanted the early church to be known for its love.

And by and large, it was. When the church first began, the believers didn’t think of anything as their own but willingly shared everything with those around them.

The world knew they were Jesus’ disciples, by the way they loved one another.

I’m afraid, though, that most people today don’t know Christians by their love anymore.

Now, instead of being known by the things we are FOR, we’re more often known for the things we’re AGAINST.

Instead of being known for our love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control, we’re known for our judgment, anger, and narrow-mindedness.

The consequences for this are unfortunately huge.

Because the truth is, when people look at the church, they think they see Jesus.

They assume (sometimes rightfully and sometimes wrongfully) that we behave just as Jesus would.

If we judge them, they assume that’s how Jesus behaves too.

If we refuse to love them, they assume God couldn’t possibly love them either.

On the other hand, the flip side is also true.

When we love like Jesus loved, they feel God’s love for them too.

When we willingly sacrifice our desires for the well-being of another person, they realize they are worth sacrificing for.

And when we bend our knees to serve, they get a glimpse at the One who served us by giving himself on the cross.

For better or for worse, when people look at us, they assume they see Jesus. The question is, are we representing him well or poorly? What will we be known for?

Identification

When you walk into a hospital it is typically very easy to identify who the doctors are from everyone else. Doctors always wear a white coat of course. In fact, if one did not know what it takes to be a doctor you might assume that it simply takes the purchase of a white coat and you too could be a doctor. How many times have we seen that on a movie where someone impersonates a doctor by simply putting on a white coat? Of course, we all know that it takes years of training to receive a doctorate degree in medicine and by earning that degree you earn the ability to wear the white coat.

May we ask the same question about disciples of Christ? What is it that identifies those who are His disciples? Is it based on the clothing we wear to Sunday morning church service? Is it a sticker on the back of our cars? Is it a clever slogan on the front of a t-shirt proclaiming how much we love Jesus? Although these things are not bad things, they are however not how we can truly identify a disciple of Jesus. You see Jesus tells us how to identify them when he took up a wash basin and towel and washed the feet of his disciples. After taking up the job of a servant and washing their feet, He said to them, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:34-35 NLT). If you want to identify Jesus’ disciples, look for those who love one another.

Redefining Love

Most of us would probably agree that the word “love” has lost some of its impact. In fact, most people I’ve talked to claim the word “love” is overused and under appreciated – that love has gone from being something you’re committed to, to being nothing more than a strong emotion. As silly as it sounds, in today’s culture love has been confused with complete agreement – meaning if you don’t agree with me then you really don’t love me. And of course, the most obvious confusion comes when we try to distinguish between love and lust.

“Love” is a powerful word. And because it’s so powerful, our goal is to redefine love back to what it truly means. The word “love” is so full that the Greek language, which much of the New Testament was written in, actually has four words devoted to it: Eros, Storge, Phileto, and Agape.

EROS – Romantic or intimate love. The word was also used as the name for the Greek god of love … the Romans called him Cupid.

STORGE (Store-gae) – A familial love, or the word used for natural affection. Often refers to the love a parent has for their children and vice-versa.

PHILETO – Often described as “brotherly love.” This word is typically translated into friendship or affection.

AGAPE – The highest form of love. It captures every other kind of love. It is an active love … a committed love. It is the love that God has for us and the love we are to reciprocate to Him, and by extension to others around us.

Agape love is the love Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 13 when he says:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

 This is biblical love. Here are three ways to recognize biblical love:

1. Biblical love is a COMMITTED love. Over and over we see Jesus model this type of love. Often the Apostle Paul wrote about the committed love of Jesus.

Romans 5:8

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 8:31-39

31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2. Biblical love is a SELFLESS love. This is how Paul describes the attitude of Jesus to the Church in Philippi.

Philippians 2:1-11

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death – even death on a cross!

Ephesians 5:21

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

It doesn’t matter how we feel toward another person because we’re not submitting out of reverence to them, but out of reverence for Christ.

3. Biblical love offers GRACE without LOOPHOLES or SHORTCUTS. In other words, biblical love has no agenda and is always looking for the best in other people. To some this sounds naive, and rightfully so. However, this is why Jesus told his followers just before sending them into various hostile environments to be “shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” Be aware. Be wise. But don’t presume everyone is against you. This is hard in our culture as we feel everyone has an agenda, but biblical love is hard in any culture because it looks past someone’s agenda.

Just think of how Jesus modeled this idea of love, offering grace with no loopholes or shortcuts.

The night Jesus was betrayed he was beaten, spat upon, mocked, ridiculed, humiliated, flogged, had a rapist released back into civilization instead of him, stripped naked while carrying a cross, had nails driven through his wrists and feet, he felt the pain as the foot of his cross was set into a hole and the top of his cross was hoisted towards the sky and gravity took over. He experienced all of this and more and still mustered the strength to say, “Father forgive them …”

Biblical love offers grace without loopholes and shortcuts. For us this seems remarkable, but to Jesus it was merely practicing what he preached.

Matthew 5:43-48

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

How spectacular would it be if God’s people, who have been called by His name, rose to the occasion in a society that is lacking love in so many areas and decided they were going to love with a biblical love – a committed, selfless, grace-filled love with no loopholes or shortcuts?

Beyond Comparison

If given the choice wouldn’t we all pursue something that is beyond comparison. Something that stands head and shoulders above all else. When I was 10 years old I knew what that pursuit would be for me. I wanted to become a third basemen for the Kansas City Royals just like my favorite player of all time, George Brett. In my mind I would eventually be the greatest third basemen in baseball history. So for the next three years I worked hard to accomplish this dream. However, after three years of failing to make even the all star team for the Coffeyville, Kansas Little League, I hung up the bat and glove. It just wasn’t meant to be.

As I became older I realized that the pursuit of greatness in baseball was truly not the greatest thing in life. It wasn’t particularly bad, just not the greatest. I believe that Paul addresses this so well in 1 Corinthians 13. Many of us are familiar with this chapter, as it is often referenced in weddings and is considered the “love” chapter. Love is patient, love is kind, and so on… However, I think we need to think of it as more than simply telling us how to love our spouse. This chapter so aptly describes the very thing I dealt with as a 10 year old boy pursuing a baseball dream. Pursuing the inferior. You see, it is not the ability to speak all the languages of earth and angels that is the greatest. It is not the gift of prophecy or understanding all there is to know about God. Giving all you have to the poor is not even the greatest of pursuits. In the end each of these will profit you nothing if you have not pursued the greatest pursuit of all: Love. Love is truly beyond comparison.

One Word to Rule Them All

In the history of God’s creation, there has always been one word that rules over everything. It’s a word with so much power that it can topple governments, solidify relationships and give purpose to the work of God’s people.

It’s also one of the most misunderstood words in the English language … or any language, for that matter.

That word is LOVE.

It’s a word that elicits strong emotions. But the love that God created – the love that God IS – goes beyond mere emotion. It’s a command, an action and ultimately a choice that we must make every moment of every day in such a variety of ways that it can sometimes be overwhelming.

Join us this fall as we dive into love – defining it the way God defines it, and learning how to love as God has commanded. We’ll learn how to love God better, love others better and ultimately to serve the world with the kind of love that can change the course of history.